Bad in bed, good in love?

Oh friends, how are we on this Fabulous Friday? Good, I hope. It's Ms. Dimes here with another installment of all things love and dating. The next topic of conversation is all about love versus sex. Let's get juicy.

Let's say you are in a relationship and all is going well. They make you laugh, you're comfortable around them, and they get along with your friends and family. Hell, you could even pass gas around them and they would laugh it off because they like you that much. But, there is just one big problem: they suck in the sack. Try as you both might, it's just not good. Is that a deal breaker? Could you be with someone you really loved, but who was bad at booty?

Allow me to be honest here: sex is important. Not as important as their personality. But just about for this girl. Why buy the car if the engine keeps stalling out? It makes no sense. And that seemed to be the majority of the consensus when I asked around.

And then there were the romantic players who said that if someone was bad in bed you could gear them to go more towards what you liked sexually. I could agree with that. If your g-spot curves left, you could teach Bad Sex Brad to go left. But there is no substitute for someone who isn't willing to learn what pleases you. If Brad (or whatever the name of your amour is) isn't willing to learn a few new tricks, dump that dead weight faster than a starlet does before the Oscars.

There is no excuse for laziness! Lazy lovers can hit the door. And that's my tidbit for the day. I hope everyone's weekend is just as fabulous as it can be.

Fashiontastically yours,

Ms. Dimes

How soon is too soon? Who makes the rules?

Hooking up. Getting down. Fucking. Love making. Knocking boots. Mattress mambo. Booty. Coloring. It has so many names I could write a whole blog full of them, and still have tons more to write because it has so many different monikers. But for the sake of keeping it simple, we'll just call it by its universal name of sex.

How fast should we do it after first meeting someone? Or should we wait until the feeling is right? It's an interesting thought. How soon is too soon to hook up with someone? Five minutes? A day? A week? Three months? Does it mean the sex will be better if we wait? Or should sex become like a handshake? Should it decide if a guy is worth the time?

(Now some people define hooking up as making out or dry humping. I call those people pussies. I kid, I kid......sort of.)

For the purposes of my survey (and this blog) - it's sex. Now, as a single girl I have hooked up with a few guys and some waited more then others. For me, it's all about the chemistry and the moment. If him and I are feeling it, it can happen instantly. When I was in middle and high school, I had the princess and fairy tale fantasy of relationships. I would meet a guy and we would wait, and the sex would be great because our feelings for each other would make it be incredible.

Just let that sink in a little. Yeah, LAME. What the hell was I thinking?!?

As I got older I realized that two people can really like each other sexually and romantically, and the sex can still be more dull than watching grass grow. (Not the good grass, of course.)

The fastest I have ever hooked up with a guy was within a few hours. We shall call him......Stumpy Dick. Stumpy Dick had a few things going for him. He was nice enough, and he had a decent sense of humor. But he almost seemed....desperate. Like he caught a whiff of pussy, and he followed the smell like a dog to a steak. We met, we chatted, and we had sex. Dull, meaningless, poke-your-teeny-dick-in-my-pussy-faster-so-you-can-get-the-fuck-off me sex. I knew when he was on top of me that it would never happen again, and I wouldn't orgasm. I think of it as taking one for the team, and it boosted my self esteem interestingly enough. It wasn't about him. It was about me coming to terms with the fact that my pussy carries a certain power and I had just learned that I can harness it. Stumpy Dick was hooked, but my drug was no longer available. Sorry Stump!

The longest I have ever made a guy wait to get it on was a month. We'll call him Rabbit Man. Rabbit Man was....interesting. He had all the stamina of a rabbit, and we did it everywhere. I do find it interesting that I was intoxicated the majority of the time we did it, and it always amounted in me debasing myself in some way. NOT WORTH IT. Making him wait didn't make it better. It had nothing to do with it. The chemistry was not there, and I faked it with alcohol because I didn't realize that I didn't have to force it.

Time and sex are not mutually exclusive is what I am saying here people. It never is, and it never will be. It's about how the both of you feel about yourselves, each other, and the moment. There are no rules unless you make them.

So, drop me a line and tell your tales. Let it all hang out.

Love and blow jobs,

Ms. Dimes

P.S. You think that was graphic? You ain't seem nothing yet!