Friends with benefits: watch out for the toxic landmines!

So, let's talk about friends with benefits. You know what I mean here. That guy or girl (or, nowadays, a combo of the two) that are good enough to sleep with, but not really someone you want to commit to. Why do people get into those kinds of relationships? Do they work?

I have several friends who are involved in a friends with benefits relationship. They get together, hang out, and fuck. (Or for the prudes out there, make love.) They seem to be happy, but are they really?

I asked that question of a lot of people, and I got a varied assortment of responses. The overwhelming majority of people said they can't work because someone always ends up getting attached to the other person. They want more time, affection, commitment, and all of those other wonderful things that happen when you start to fall for someone and want them to yourself.

Let's look at both sides of the coin. Say you are the person who wants to keep the relationship strictly sexual. What's holding you back? Afraid you may become heartbroken? Or do you not want to forgo an awesome sexual relationship for a romantic one that may ultimately fail?

And what about the person with feelings? Does the person you have feelings for deserve to have you? Or do some people (and most would say this applies to woman mainly) feel that you can't have sex without a level of emotional attachment applied to it?

I am currently involved in a friends with relationship cat and mouse game right now, and I am the one with feelings. I empathize with all my fellow romantic hopefuls out there. I can't escape him in my thoughts. In the beginning I thought that we were just casual lovers and things would remain purely sexual because he had a relationship and all of that. But here I am a few months later, and I enjoy being with him. He makes me laugh, and he's kind.

This has taken hold of me so much so that I don't even look at or flirt with any other men. (And believe me when I say I love nothing more then the hunt for men.) So, I am at a standstill with Mr. Charles. Am I waiting for the inevitable heartbreak that comes when you fall for someone? Even when you know he's emotionally unavailable? Or do I do what I keep doing and wait for him?

So it goes.....