Cheating is as cheating does...

So, lets discuss cheating. The topic of so many episodes of Maury, Jerry Springer (you know you love it), and celebrity rag magazines it'll make your head spin. It's everywhere, and yet, still so very taboo. It's fascinating until it happens to you, and then you're fucked. Or, comically, doing the fucking. Now, allow me to say that I have never been cheated on, but I have been the other woman. In this last year alone, so many people I know have been cheaters, been cheated on, or they were conspirators in the sneaky game of getting down on the sly.

In my experience, the guys who cheat on their girlfriends with me did it out of unhappiness. Well, that's the primary reason. Some of them do it because they want a boost to their self esteem, or they want to be predators and sleep with as many women as possible. Or maybe, they were just scratching an itch.

So, in that sex survey I created, the very first question I came up with was "When is cheating acceptable?". Most people who took the survey said that it's never acceptable. I think you need different people for different things. No one person can be all the things you need. We humans are an interesting breed. We all have this natural urge to mate with things that stir us up sexually, but monogamy is viewed as a necessary practice by most of society.

And let us not even get into the religious aspects or other pressures that come with monogamy. Let me give you two examples of cheating, and you decide for yourself what is wrong and right.

Example number one involves my parental units. They were together forever, and they even came to the states together in 1981. They built a home for myself and all of my siblings, and did the best they could with what they had. But, Father cheated on Mother the whole time they were together. My mother knew about it, and it was even the cause of a few mild separations between them. Theirs was not a relationship built on love. In truth, they stayed together "for their children". It was my mother's thought that she had to stay with him because our lives would be better for it.

Let me let that irony sink in for you. Yeah, that's right. So, was my mother right? Is cheating acceptable depending if their or children or financial concerns to consider?

Now, example two is more personal. Let's take a trip down I-can't-believe-I-slept-with-that-guy Boulevard. (I love flashbacks and montages. Can I get my soft piano music to lead me in?)

A few months ago I met this guy through some friends. We've been neighbors for years, and we never met. Let's call him.......Charles. Charles is the ultimate source of sexual attraction. Basically, I wanted to rip his clothes off and do the dirty. Charles was a taken man, however. Most women would back off. Most women suck.

This woman went after him like Oprah Winfrey at a buffet. As a single woman, I make it a point to be selective about the men I date. This girl has standards. Or as my friend Stephy tells it - I'm picky. Yes, I admit there are some men I am simply not attracted to. (Why bother getting to know some guy if he's only going to be Mr. Good For Five Minutes?) But, back to my point.

I found myself swerving towards him. The spark was undeniable, and it's been a hell of a ride. But, the acts were selfish. I found myself trying to identify with her feelings, and I couldn't. So, were we wrong? Or should we indulge in passion?

So, is cheating bad? Or is it cheating is as cheating does?